I should inform you
by Seito
Summary: Wally/Dick. Bruce isn't the one Wally should worry about. Alfred is. R&R


I own nothing.

I make no claims to Alfred's speech. Please thank nonnie for the wonderful epicness that is Alfred's speech. :3

* * *

><p>"In short, Wally," Bruce said, glaring at the cowering speedster in front of him. "You break Dick's heart, and I will end you. Do you understand?" Dick had informed Bruce that yesterday Wally had confessed to him. While Bruce had known of Dick's crush on the redhead, he insisted that Wally came over for a talk.<p>

Wally nodded fervently. Dick had warned him that Bruce was an overprotective father who may or may not threaten to cut off Wally's fingers. He gulped and considered himself lucky that Bruce didn't break out the batarangs.

He let out a small 'meep!' when Bruce laid his hand on Wally's shoulder. "Good," Bruce said with a nod. "Now, before you leave, Alfred wants to see you."

Wally zipped out of the room as fast as he could. Waiting outside for him was Dick who pounce his new boyfriend as soon as he could. "How did it go?" Dick asked.

"Well," Wally began. "He gave me the usual 'if I break your heart, he's gonna kill me' speech. But aside from the usual chill Bats gives off, it wasn't anything too bad. Though I rather not go through that again."

Dick let out a sigh of relief. "Good. That means he halfway approves of you. Did he give you any rules?"

"Um no?" Wally said. Really though he shouldn't be surprised that there were rules involved. "He just said I have to see Alfred."

Dick paled. "He sent you to see Alfred?" he squeaked.

Wally nodded and patted Dick on the arm. "No sweat right? I saw him in the kitchen. So I'll be back in a flash."

"Wait! WALLY!" Before Dick could stop him, Wally was gone. Oh no this was bad, very bad. Dick totally had forgotten to warn Wally about Alfred. He didn't think Alfred would feel the need to do _this_.

Bruce came out of the room to find his ward slamming his head against the wall. He smirked and said, "Forgot to warn him about Alfred?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Wally skidded to a stop in the kitchen. Alfred stood near the center island counter. In front of him laid out several pieces of silverware. Without missing a beat, Alfred would pick up one piece, polish it with a white cloth until it shined and continued to the next one.<p>

Alfred looked up at Wally's appearance. "Ah, Master Wallace. Good to see you," he greeted.

Wally raised his hand in a greeting. "Hey Alfred." Wally liked Alfred. He was definitely cool, had the best cookies in the world and best of all he fed Wally every time Wally came over.

Alfred nodded in return. "Now, I understand that you confessed your feelings to Master Richard the other day. If I may, I wish to offer my congratulations to you." He picked up a knife and began to polish it. "Now, I believe I must enlighten you on several things. Master Richard enjoys your presence. Master Bruce does not mind your presence and nor do I. But, I feel it is my duty to inform you, that should Master Richard become...bothered, or unpleasantly upset, I will know. As I have been charged with his wellbeing, mental health included, should I find evidence that you have caused any harm to him, it is simply my duty to care for him, and to..._remove_ the source of said harm. Quickly and efficiently.And I may mention that I would not mind performing such a duty. No, I think I would not mind at all. I do hope you understand my meaning, Master Wallace." Alfred smiled.

Wally on the other hand stared in stun surprised. Did Alfred just threaten to kill him? He didn't think Alfred would be capable of producing such… fear. This had to be a joke of some sort. This was Alfred! Alfred wouldn't hurt a fly! Right?

The light glinted off the now sparkling silver knife in Alfred's hand. Wally gulped. A chill went down his spine. This… this talk was nothing compared to Bruce's one from earlier. Bruce just glared and threatened him. Alfred, on the hand, calmly informed him that he… removed the problem.

Alfred paid no attention to Wally's shocked appeared. He picked up another knife and began to polish it as well. "In fact, I would quite ill-disposed to said cause," he continued. "And I would feel it is my duty to inform Master Bruce, who is, perhaps a touch more impulsive and brash. Though, no less vengeful, I should think. I'm sure you understand yes?"

Wally began to feel a little faint hearted. His legs felt weak. He paled several shades and nodded.

Alfred smiled again. "But I'm sure you have only the best intentions towards Master Richard. Please see it remains that way. I'm glad we had this little chat." He walked over to Wally who was beginning to wobble. With a pat on the back, Alfred escorted him into a chair. Then calmly, he asked:

"Would you care for a cookie? Perhaps a scone?"

* * *

><p>The End. Please Review. :3<p> 


End file.
